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From Adversity

by lantern for a gale

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1.
Without delusions In this lonely universe Without enthusiasm For this barbarous course My fragile sanity Enriching, bruising me. I don’t mind, my mind, this fervour (at least it’s mine) This reckless anger (without denying) I often feel Too young to give up caring Too old to suffer fools A non-believer Non-believer, Pursuing truth So I step into the fray In to the fray Black dog’s lurking I roar when needs be And face the wind Every fucking day Now I’m Strong for more than me.. A new-found sense of Determination Strong for more than me And not held back by My imagination Stunted in the past, or Internal narrations Where I’m miscast I’m gaining respect For myself at long last Approaching the place Where my expectations don't crash In to the Fray On the shoulders of giants Building a legacy In to the fray Once more, and always
2.
Captain 04:10
My head feels dull Jolt adrenal On broken wings I soar Imposing stage With scalpel poised I open up These bruised perceptions (without exception) (Cascade in me) Pitch and roll in company Cut-throat admission, ‘bout my Prolonged excision (and when I can –) From stifled introvert to CAPTAIN This disorder Menace inner Self-defeat Found this valve Now I howl Remedy Some days I am nothing Some days I am king Introverted Then – Igniting And in this moment, I am free I found what fixes me In this moment This moment Self-pity – So unedifying: Shroud upon my comprehension (unbroken) Oh just another syndrome (unbroken) This is my counter-poison (unbroken) This is my counter-poison Fix
3.
Let me tell you a story About the angriest man you know Now a most devoted father Changed his life to make it so Melancholy mind Brought into focus Oblivion’s bewitching line Has led to this I’ve lived enough to know What means the most Amidst the vastness of the cosmos So insignificant But improbable existence Is to celebrate Took a career path to nowhere But your mother’s love Complex medical endeavour Saved your life There are no angels But as you fall asleep I can see why people Believe in perfect things Can’t pretend living’s easy, You’ll shed blood and sweat and tears ~But believe me We’re stronger than our fears This terrifying joy Responsibility I cried when I first held you You are magical to me Time’s ‘ever-rolling stream’ bears all to atrophy I vow, to love and help you son ‘Til my last day In your lowest moments, please remember You are not alone I will love and help you, always You are not alone In this cold world
4.
The Future 04:25
Lyrics by Leonard Cohen.
5.
Invocation 02:00
6.
Shelter 04:02
You look at me Like no-one else And I’m rebuilt You see in me what I cannot (A light to guide me past these rocks) Call me sentimental In the Age of Irony But I cherish more than symbols (To me) it’s fundamental Our kingdom of three No shame in telling Your love’s remade me Rebuilt This shipwreck sails! Rebuilt To you I brought This emptied heart These empty hands Now nothing’s insurmountable with you With you Living Is overwhelming But my back’s broader now (And I won’t stop trying) To be the man You deserve To be the father That keeps his word To shelter The beautiful Be a better person And give my all
7.
Love and War 02:41
In our obscurity In all this vastness Help is not elsewhere So here we, Make our stand With the confidence of cornered men Moving from imagination Sustained by will, and boundless passion Make your stand Acting on the very dreams That blister sleep Make your Stand Inventing (unrelenting) Be unrelenting We are all exiles from our past Carve your path No tougher enemy, (than me) Me against myself Me against myself Me against myself I will not look back on a wasted life And I don’t fear regret cos' I’ll know I tried Love and war All my days and nights
8.
This has been my hardest year Collected greys Nothing left to fear From adversity We did it all The hard way But we fucking did it We’re all defeatable, but Risk nothing, get nowhere Target incredible Risk nothing, get nowhere Toe to toe with ‘feasible’ Risk nothing, get nowhere Both gods and animals Aim your sharpest arrows They won’t take me down Throw me in the ocean I won’t drown - no Yes we’re all defeatable, but Risk nothing, get nowhere Both gods and animals

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released March 13, 2015

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